Is no news good news?

Here's a series we didn't think we'd see on Move: super-hardcore hack-and-slash Ninja Gaiden, a franchise with so much action our arms are sore just thinking about playing it with Sony's motion controller.

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Mamma mia

Dance on Broadway turned out to be quite a hit for Ubisoft when released on Wii a few years back: riding off the success of its insanely popular Just Dance series, the all-musical soundtrack had a niche all to itself that resulted in big sales for Ubisoft. Now the Move edition has entered stage left, but it barely passes the audition.

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Deal clencher

Last year Kaasa released Physio Fun Balance Training to help rehabilitate patients following hip, leg or foot surgery. Many readers rubbed their eyes in disbelief, but you've seen nothing yet.

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Of course

You may have seen Google's Gmail Motion April Fool's joke this year, which promised to get rid of the mouse and keyboard for email and implement a new system based entirely on body movements. As jokes go it wasn't bad, but the team at ICT MxR made it into a reality using Kinect.

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Zumba Fitness got to number TWO in the UK charts. Number TWO?! That's mental.

Banishing the memory of last week's poor showings on the Nintendo Download, this week offers up a bumper crop of games, with Virtual Console, DSiWare and WiiWare all receiving fresh new games to play.

Virtual Console

Super Bonk (Super NES, 800pts) — A platformer so classic it's practically prehistoric, Super Bonk takes the bone-headed hero through another adventure full of dinosaurs, headbutts and tanks outside the Eiffel Tower. If this sounds like your cup of tea, our Super Bonk review will fill you in on the rest.

WiiWare

Planet Fish (Ludia, 500pts) — If the My Aquarium games were just too sedate for you, you might want to take a look at Planet Fish, a game in which you search the world's oceans to catch all the fish you like. We'll dive into this one and let you know if it's worth taking the plunge with a review this week, probably with better puns.

DSiWare

Absolute Baseball (Tasuke, 500pts) — Having seemingly exhausted its supply of simple games to translate into 200 Point titles, Tasuke takes on the big leagues with the 500 Point Absolute Baseball. You step into the shoes of a baseball manager, aiming to take your team of young hopefuls all the way to the top, without ever swinging a bat yourself. We'll see if this one strikes out with a review in the coming days.

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Black cat just crossed my path. Is that good or bad luck? I forget.

Who vacuums up at 9:30 on a Sunday morning? Seriously. If the answer is you, you're a bit annoying.

Tea cakes and The Sopranos.

Am I the only gamer on the planet who has no clue what Minecraft is?