I read a lot of press releases. Actually, that’s not true: I delete a lot of press releases without reading them, usually because they’re not relevant to my (very niche) websites. But this press release… this is what I’m talking about.
Taking sideswipes at everything from game chains to rival franchises, it’s funny enough to be worth a read regardless of whether or not you care about Superstars V8 Racing, the game in question.
Reverb Games News: I like your style. More of this please.
GameGasm Issues Apology Regarding Superstars V8 Racing Availability
Midwestern Retailer Mistakenly Throws Launch Event for Digital PlayStation®Network Release
Ivanhoe, MN—November 2, 2010—Midwestern video game retail giant GameGasm confirmed today that Superstars V8 Racing was never actually stocked in their stores after throngs of customers showed up for their midnight launch last Tuesday morning at 12:01 a.m.
“We had people waiting in line outside in the cold from the minute we closed at 8 p.m., right up until the clock struck midnight and we reopened for the Superstars V8 Racing launch event,” said Hugh Harding, District Manager for the Ivanhoe-area GameGasm chain. “Little did we realize, despite the fact that we had filled our quota for pointless, high-pressure pre-order sales, the fans were in for a huge shock. Apparently this game wasn’t actually shipped to our stores, and instead went live exclusively on PlayStation Network across North America.”
GameGasm Assistant Sales Associate Ryan Bullet added, “Consumers were just as confused as we were. The game is apparently packed with features and is only $19.99. I mean, sure, it’s no Gran Turismo 5, but is that game actually ever going to come out? We’ve had pre-orders for GT5 since before the PlayStation 3 even launched! Superstars V8 Racing is at least good enough to fill the gap until Polyphony Digital’s game hits– however much longer that may be.”
After the midnight launch incident, GameGasm corporate officials issued an official apology to all of the customers that pre-ordered Superstars V8 Racing at its stores, and instead directed them to PlayStation Network. Even still, all customers asking for a refund on their $5.00 pre-order deposit were met with grief, as per corporate policy. Other customers instead opted to move their pre-orders to Call You Names: Banned Ops or Just Pants 4.
Developed by veteran racing studio Milestone s.r.l., makers of premiere European racing franchise titles like the SBK: Superbike World Championship series and WRC: FIA World Rally Championship, Superstars V8 Racing puts you behind the wheel of world-class cars in five single-player modes and supports up to 12-player online racing across 10 official tracks. The game also offers pick up and play mechanics and adjustable realism settings that drive home the experience for hardcore racing fans and casual enthusiasts alike.
For more information about GameGasm and the availability of Superstars V8 Racing please visit: www.gamegasm.biz
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About GameGasm Stores, Inc
Aside from being completely fake, Midwestern retail giant GameGasm operates nearly 400 video game store locations across the middle of the country in the CST time zone, which may or may not also be a complete and total myth. The company has consistently won the annual “Consumers Approval of Performance” award for the last nine years, and continually remains profitable each fiscal quarter thanks to its “Sixty-Dollar Game Is Worth Forty Cents” trade-in program. For more information please visit: www.gamegasm.biz.
My name is James Newton, and this is my website - a collection of my writings about
videogames, music and all my other thoughts.